All year people have been telling me of all of the good deeds and learning that they have been doing in memory of our dear nephew Donny Morris Z”L.
For the last two months leading up to Donny’s Z”L Yahrzeit that was marked last week on Lag BaOmer, I have been thinking about what I have done as a merit for Donny Z”L. Last summer I made a choice. I actively chose to do something, even though it was hard and uncomfortable at first. I chose to actively do my best to reach out and connect with others on a deeper level and build stronger and more meaningful relationships.
As each day passed, I felt my choice morph into a strong commitment. I slowly found that this commitment began to affect me, my family and friends, and my community.
The interesting thing about choices is that it is entirely up to us, and no one else, to choose to do something or not. (Not doing, is a choice too.)
I once asked someone about a Mitzvah they chose to take on, although they did not grow up with it. She simply told me that it was a choice that she made. She learned about the laws and reviewed her beliefs and values. She then chose to take on the Mitzvah in order to actively improve her connection to her Yiddishkeit and Hashem.
Really though, time would tell. Would the choice become the first step towards change? Or would it turn out to be just a brief blip of inspiration that comes and goes like a shooting star streaking across the sky in all its brief brilliance and then fading away into the horizon?
It is the hard work of keeping up the change, valuing and believing in it day in and day out, that turns a choice into a commitment.
Yesterday was one of those days where you look at the forecast and say it’s a little cool out. Should I go running or go on the elliptical instead?
I was still on the fence when I finished carpooling. When I got home, I chose to go running and took a sweatshirt with me.
It was a beautiful day and I was enjoying the run. For those of you who know my two mile route up and down Bell Rd, I was heading towards 12 mile, and the two big hills…. As I got closer, I began to think, oh man, if I choose to keep going, how am I going to make it up that hill?
I made a choice, come what may, I would keep going. Besides, I could always slow down and walk if need be until I pull myself together again. As I was coming up toward the first hill, the smaller of the two, I picked up speed to give myself the boost I needed to make it up the hill and then let gravity do the work on the way down. I decided to keep the momentum going strong and pull into a faster run to make it up the next bigger hill. As I was making my way down and about to turn around to head back up the steep incline (to do the return of the loop), a stranger rolled down his window, shook his fist at me and shouted, “Yeah! Good for you! Great job!” I turned to the stranger, smiled, thanked him kindly and said, “and now I have to keep going!” With that I pulled into a full run and made my way up the steep hill with more energy than I had the whole time.
Even when we make choices, indeed commitments, they can sometimes be tough to keep going, even when you intellectually agree and want to keep them. That is why family, friends and community, and even strangers, who I like to think of as my personal Eliyahu HaNavi encouragers, are invaluable, especially when things get tough.
All year we have committed to doing more, to being better.
Make the choice. Keep going. Turn your choice into a long term commitment. Turn to your family, friends and community for support. In this way, we will continue to keep the memory of Donny Z”L alive and strengthen ourselves, our connection to Hashem, and our relationships every day.